Eggless Fudge Brownie Recipe That Makes You Want To Get Fat. The Kind Without The ‘P’ ‘H.’

Eggless Fudge Brownie w/Vegan Marshmallows

Do you look in the mirror and think “How can I make my butt bigger?” Do you long to experience thigh chaffing? Are you having a hard time getting enough calories into your diet?

Well, worry no longer. I am about to fulfill your dreams. Forget skinny jeans. You will be filling out that kaftan soon enough! This brownie recipe is too good to eat just one. Batch.

It hails from the world renowned center of the brownie universe, Australia, and was passed on to me by my neighbor by a woman named Chandra whom I never met but think of every time I expand the fat cells on my hips by eating her heavenly brownies. Also, the brownies are a great source of energy to get me fueled up for yoga class at the Alachua Yoga Center. I eat at least six large pieces before every class and double that afterwards. It keeps the fat in place so I don’t end of looking like one of those toned and hot yoga chicks.

Like most things chocolate, I recommend you go premium, using good quality chips. As you will see from the recipe, the brownies are little more than chocolate and condensed milk. Essentially, it is a fudge that you bake.

Small variations are acceptable for this recipe but I would not stray too far from the original, which is as good as you are going to get in the brownie world, eggs or no eggs.

Pecans, walnuts, orange peel are all good additions. Today I added some chopped up vegan marshmallows because I needed to buy them for some snowman project my daughter will be doing in school on Thursday. Maybe I am exaggerating. I don’t think putting three marshmallows on a toothpick qualifies as a project, but then again, she is only four. Obviously, I don’t expect a lot from my children.

Today’s batches (told you one was not enough) were made with white spelt but a good organic AP flour will do the job best. Be warned: if you are not using premium chocolate, your children will eat many many more brownies than if you used something less sweet and more froufrou. Therefore, if you do these brownies on the cheap, you have to move quickly once they are out of the oven. I recommend hoarding a secret stash, otherwise you risk a flat stomach and going through life with just one chin!

So enough of this jibber-jabbering, let’s bake!

1) You will need a 11 x 7 brownie or lasagna baking tray. Line it with parchment paper. Seriously. Do it. Think of it as a favor to yourself. Preheat oven to 350.

2) Mix dry ingredients together in a bowl: 1.5 cups AP flour, 1 tspn baking powder, pinch o’salt. You can sift if that’s yo’ thang.

3) Melt 4 TBS of butter on stovetop on low heat with 2.5 cups of bittersweet chocolate chips.

4) Add 2 cans sweetened condensed milk + 2 tsp vanilla extract. Off the heat.

5) Add dry ingredients to pot. Whisk and silicone spatula are helpful for this step.  Mix well.

6) Pour into parchment lined baking pan. Bake 35 minutes in oven heated at 350 degrees.

7) Cool, cut, ingest, digest.



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4 responses to “Eggless Fudge Brownie Recipe That Makes You Want To Get Fat. The Kind Without The ‘P’ ‘H.’

  1. Pingback: Eating For Two « sabjimata

  2. Krishna Rati

    It’s late here and everyone is sleeping and I made the mistake of reading your Eggless Fudge Brownie Recipe just now. What are those weird sounds coming from my corner of the house? It’s me trying to muffle hysterics after reading this insanely funny blog! From now on I only read your stuff at a decent hour : )

  3. Pingback: Eating For Two | sabjimata

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