I feel like my pet peeves are loosing me friends, yet here I am…part 3!
Polished Black Granite Countertops
Now that I bring it up, I have to say, this is one of my biggest pet peeves ever. I am not into this look for my own personal kitchen. However, I do think it goes fabulously with that vintage Monte Carlo SS parked in the driveway of your Staten Island castle (you know the one…that you can see from the Outerbridge Crossing). Don’t forget to wear your Z. Cavaricci’s.
Unfortunately, I don’t have photographic documentation of me wearing mine in 8th grade, so these guys will have to do:
I just can’t handle the shine. Of the countertops. But look:
Ahhh, isn’t that soothing? Honed black granite countertops…
…with veining. It looks so soapstoney! I highly approve. The radon issue
, on the other hand, is a whole other story.
This style kitchen does have it’s place, deep in the woods, in a tiny a-frame cabin atop a mountain somewhere. As a budget kitchen job, I approve. As a style statement, too much moknottony.
Christopher Peacock Kitchens
I’m sure it’s just a case of sour grapes. Peacock’s kitchens are absolutely divine. And his name is Peacock, which f’ing rocks! But, despite the fact that I would love one of his kitchens (just look at all that white Calcutta marble!), they certainly get me peeved.
Peacock’s kitchen design makes Martha Stewart’s aesthetic look downright ethnic. And while Martha (who I love/hate) has taken her high style WASPy design to the masses with lines for both Macy’s and K-freaking-Mart, Peacock is strictly big money. The look is refined, elitist and understated in a way that will always be foreign to me and my sensibilities.
Many DIY-ers have gone for a Peacock inspired design on a budget, but seriously, without the Urban Archeology light fixtures, Calcutta gold marble (which is at least 3 times the price of carrera), chunky crown molding and oversized island pilasters, inset doors and icebox hardware, the look is unobtainable. I mean, the picture I have above is actually really budget looking for a Christopher Peacock design!
The other thing that bugs me about these kitchens is that they are so huge (which I think is a beautiful thing), that the size of the houses they are located within must be obscene (which I think is not a beautiful thing). You know, carbon footprint, etc.
All those fancy white kitchens remind me of my penultimate pet peeve: the fashion kitchen. For the love of cooking, I detest a kitchen that is a showroom first and a workhouse…never. Look at this kitchen above. Just look at it. It’s magnificently cute and perfect. And functional. It has a really swell layout, plus period glam stacked cabs with inset doors, apron front fireclay sink with wall mounted faucet and an absolutely lovely backsplash. Yet, according to the piece this photo accompanied, Karen admits, “Cooking is not my passion.”
To her credit, she does let her friends come over to cook. Uh, Karen, can we hang out?