Nothing says “Christmas” more than a trip to the dollar store for some glittery decorations. And who better to decorate for this shot of Christmas jam than a Jewish raised Hare Krishna. I admit, this was my first time handling tinsel and I found the whole process very exotic and mysterious.
Ooops! What I meant to say is:
Hark, is that Santa’s hooves I hear on the roof of the Sabjimata Kitchen? (Pretends to look out the window as if she could actually see on top of the roof from that vantage point.) Why, yes! It is Santa! And he has a very long list of names. Names of girls and boys who have been nice. Names of girls and boys who appreciate quality human made jam.
But Santa, no, I cannot give you all this jam! Not without first giving a chance for all the naughty quality human made jam connoisseurs out there to place their order. I mean, I want everyone to have a Merry Christmas and a Happy Chanukah. (I would include Kawanzaa in there, but buying my jam would not be in accordance with the fourth principle, ujamaa.)
So before I hand over my jam stock to Santa, I must give the general naughty public a chance to get jam for the holidays. I am even planning on setting up this coming Sunday at the New Raman Reti Temple to sell my jams, so if you are interested in procuring some jam in the Alachua County area without procuring a shipping charge, that will be your day.
I have to admit, in the summer I planned on being much more together and focused for Christmas in regards to jam, but the combination of LSAT prep and the balmy winter weather of Florida has left me feeling very out of touch with the seasonal commerce. So, please know, I am hitting you with a soft sell here. If you want jam, buy it. It makes a nice gift for someone you want to buy something special for but do not want to spend loads of cashola on. It is personal (made by a real live human!) and non-fattening.
Nothing says love more than, “I don’t want to make your thighs big.”