Obama to Open Hanuman Temples

It is a little known fact that the first thing President-elect Barack Obama will do once he takes office is open 18 Hanuman temples throughout the United States. Major cities such as Chicago, DC, New York, LA, Miami, Dallas, Houston, Phoenix, Philadelphia, Raleigh, Atlanta, New Orleans, San Francisco, Portland, Oklahoma City, Tucson, Anchorage, Trenton and Camden all have groundbreaking ceremonies slated for the new temples the day after Obama takes office.

After his first 90 days in office, President Obama plans on seizing all Bikram Yoga Studios and converting them to Hanuman temples. Following that, all GNC retail outlets will also be converted to Hanuman Temples.

In the aftermath, Americans will just grow fatter and lazier as they will have no place to buy their powdered supplements (many of which are more stimulating than caffeine and dark chocolate combined) and no place to stand on their head in a socially acceptable atmosphere.

But, according to a recent poll by Time Magazine, the majority of American people are already fat and lazy and feel a return to the status quo will only make this country greater. In terms of girth.

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12 Comments

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12 responses to “Obama to Open Hanuman Temples

  1. Lila

    Is this from The Onion????

  2. Devadeva Mirel

    no, it's from that famous blog, "alternate reality."

  3. Lila

    maybe you'll get a publishing deal!

  4. Sita-pati das

    Hahaha – if he does that I'll renounce Bikram and become a Hanuman / Obama bhakta!

  5. Devadeva Mirel

    but would you degrade yourself by moving to america? that is the real question!

  6. Avadhuta-priya dasi

    That subway line is in Delhi, it goes to Karol Bagh market. Most of the people on the train pay pranam to Hanumanji, it is really cool. He opens his heart, his fingers move.

  7. Devadeva Mirel

    wow,thanks avadhuta-priya. you are my go to girl for india everything. love your blog. such a fun perspective…always entertaining pics.

  8. Sita-Rama

    You know, you could always publish this for thehing.com

  9. Devadeva Mirel

    awww…thanks sita! but i think eric comes up with way funnier stuff than i could ever muster.

  10. Nityananda Chandra Das

    ha ha, yes, are you new hing? Are you also waiting for some new material from Benloka? are you wondering if that Brit shaved his famous hair? ahh the suspense

  11. Devadeva Mirel

    wait…do you know? did he shave up? WHERE IS BEN LOKA??? maybe i should just email jahnavi…

  12. Ananga-manjari

    you had me going there. but you were just kidding. how i wish it were all true. 😦

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