I found out what is wrong with my Canon. The LCD screen reads E18, which is an error common for the otherwise wonderful Cannon, and occurs after the camera is dropped one too many times. There is even a website about this glitch, e18error.com. Apparently, someone is even trying to organize a class action lawsuit against Canon over this.
Despite the fact that I am not going to be joining any lawsuits, I feel there is hope. My brother-in-law, who works for NASA, is coming tomorrow for a visit and he just might be able to take apart the camera and set things right again. In the meantime, I have my new hand-me-down to keep my blog decorated.