I Have Issues with Labels

In addition to being an emotional idiot, I’m also a complete and utter technological idiot. First I buy Illustrator 5.5 off eBay only to find out that it is too old to run on my MacBook. After a few emails to some very technologically hip friends, I found that out. Not, however, before going to Office Depot and purchasing an external drive with hopes that the software would be usable.

Here is a picture of Brett, the salesman at Office Depot who helped me with my totally useless purchase which I will be attempting to return this week. Brett, who apparently thought nothing of me photographing him with the external drive, does not smile for pictures. He smiles before pictures. He smiles after pictures. Just not during pictures. With a name like Brett, who would expect anything else?

Brett, Office Depot Sales Associate

Before I decided to return the drive, I tried loading Illustrator 5.5 onto my mother-in-law’s old iBook. I got as far as the first installation disk before running into trouble. Back to my tech savvy friends. It did not take long to figure out that the old computer did not have enough memory to run the software.

My knees in front of my mother-in-law’s old iBook.

Feeling totally defeated and unable to live up to the reputation I earned in 1983 from being the designated teacher’s pet whenever it was time to make a sign for the classroom using Print Shop on the Apple IIe, I almost gave up. And then I remembered that I hadn’t bothered my friend Balaramchandra in a while. I thought I should take advantage of his wonderful, giving service attitude before he gets burned out. Or married with kids. So, I asked if he could help me out and as always, he happily accepted the engagement. Of course, it is difficult to feel out how happy he was about it since we only communicated through email. But sometimes it is better that way.

Balaramchandra was going to make some adjustments of flavor and ingredients to the label template his brother designed. While I was waiting for Balaramachandra to get back to me with the changes, I thought it would be a good idea to get my new printer up and running. Do you know how long it took me to figure it out? I spend at least thirty minutes getting frustrated with the thing only to find out I didn’t have the printer turned on. Yup, technological idiot. (Which kind of reminded me of…)

Finally I got it printing and decided there is no way I can print these labels myself. It just looked like drech, as my mother would say. I think it may actually be impossible to properly align label sheets in a printer. At least I know it is actually impossible for me to do. I tried it. And no, I won’t tell you how many times.

I was looking online at pre-printed labels which would cost about 70 cents a label. With a 500 label minimum and multiple flavors of jam, it looked like an option way out of my price range.

And then I found Renaissance Printing. In Gainesville, no less. Thank you, Google, thank you! They will print 500 labels at about 13 cents a label, which means a roll will only run my $62. And once I move, it will be a feel good support local business kind of transaction.

I still have to figure out some things-like how I am going to handle the products I make in very, very small runs–but at least there is a hope that my jars don’t have to stay naked for too much longer.



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3 responses to “I Have Issues with Labels

  1. Pandu das

    Why not just buy an older computer or newer software?

    I presume the 500 label minimum is per design. Is that right? Like you would need 500 for strawberry, 500 for blueberry, etc. If it’s 500 for a total order, that would be pretty cool.

    Will you have to have a state-certified kitchen in Florida?

  2. Devadeva Mirel

    i have an older computer but it would need more memory. the newer software costs 600 bucks. that is a lot of jam.

    500 label minimum per design is correct. but i am going to get a generic label for now and human make the ingredients label for the back.

    i will have to have a certified kitchen in florida…to be legal.

    one thing at a time…


  3. Mickey_Mouse

    That is a really good deal you are getting with them! I use a british labels company for my pre-printed labels, their prices are really reasonable and it saves me the time and hassle of having to print them all myself.

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