I feel like I should rename my blog “Open Letter to Kadamba.” What can I say, she inspires me. I feel a sisterhood with her and her struggles. Mainly, I just wish had some cookies. No, really.

Today I spoke with Hari-Kirtana Prabhu about some troubles I have been having, which essentially boil down to my mind. Isn’t it always the case? He was helpful and encouraged me to engage in letter writing as a way to work out some stuff.

I thought that was a good idea but first, I thought, let me try something more amusing and far more strenuous. Let me write a rap.

Needless to say, I have very little training in rap. I did own a P.E. tape as well as Paul’s Boutique and that popular De la Soul cd. And I religiously tuned into Yo! MTV Raps every Wednesday after school. I can do a mean Ed Lover dance. But alas, I am not even cognizent of when “rap” turned into “hip hop.” Actually, I’m not even sure if it’s the same thing.

So anyway, here’s my rhymes.

Check out this rap
It’s full of crap.

Jay Ho y’all
I gotta rap y’all

Thoughts and feelings coming at me
They’re feeling monumental
Coming fast fast faster out my pen
Like a Swami flying Continental

I lived in a House of God
A life of pain
My bhakti is hurting
Now hear my refrain

Joy, pain, sunshine, rain

I’m sampling other people’s samples
Learning by example
Knowledge coming down
Move out of the way before you get trampled

Mad Elephant sit down
Go to the back of the bus
Cause I got matters rolling
I got to discuss

I’m scratching my head
Fingering my beads
Denying myself
Some psycho/social needs

Now that I’m a parent
I see life in a whole new lite
Got my husband, got my kids
My art is my might

Check your head in 97 thru Y2K
Those days are gone but feelings stay
I should have called a time out
And gotten out of that game
Cause too much meeting cheating and bleating
Has left me frayed

I got amateur rhymes
And amateur troubles
Living my life in a Hare Krishna bubble


The time of our lives
Begins at birth
Deaths the real test
Get your bhakti’s worth


Okay. So I am not really considering a life as a hip-hop artist, although anyone opening a tea room who is interested in some live music, do hit me up. After I wrote my rhymes (I left out some verses which were full of content but, unfortunately, not full of rhyme) I followed Hari Kirtan Prabhu’s advice and wrote a letter. That I will not be posting here other than the following simile on the mind:

“… 2 biggies that stand out in my mind like the singular maple in our yard, which despite the advance in season is still clinging to its dead, dried leaves, even though they serve no nourishing purpose.”

The conclusion of my letter basically solved all my problems for now:

“This letter attests to some internal flaw of mine that I think all of this matters. That I think I matter.”

My self inflicted rap writing excercise was great for me. As might be evident, I have a tendency to take myself a little too seriously. Rapping was a good ice breaker. And the letter writing excercise at least let me get some heavy stuff off my heart and let me breath for the rest of the day.

***Update: Thank you to all of you who have spontaneously emailed me your raps and rhymes. Please feel free to post them in the comments section.



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3 responses to “Yo.

  1. Satyavati devi dasi

    OK my dear Devadeva,

    Since I am considerably older than you I have no idea who/what PE is nor any of the other people you mentioned, nor have I ever watched Yo MTV Raps, and I wouldn't know Ed Lover from Mr. Ed, but I do want you to know I sat here and went through your rap and tried to envision the live performance of it. I am sorry to say I did it no justice.

    As far as your letter goes: I know these things can be great cathartics and I have no idea the context your quote came from, but I will say this: you matter, to me, anyway. For what that's worth.

    That's all.

  2. Devadeva Mirel

    I am sure a real performance would be just as bad as the visualization.

    Problem is, I think I may matter a little too much to myself at this juncture.


  3. Mandakini/Margaret

    Therapeutic rap. okay.

    oh, and I lurves me some beastie boys. have yet to completely flush them out of my system.

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