Going is Coming

The countdown begins. Well, it would if I actually knew what date it was (the perils of being a stay at home mom….similar to being a resident of an insane asylum. At times). Anyway, I may not know today’s date but I do know we are leaving on the 26th.

That is, on the days that the trip is still on. Today it was on. Yesterday morning it was off. There was no way to foresee the difficulty involved with finding a place for me and the kids to stay in Mayapur the month my husband will be in Bombay. Sure, we have a room at the Gada Building but six months ago when we decided on going, I had my hopes set on a flat. With a kitchen. And multiple rooms.

Well, a little austerity won’t be the worst thing for me and the kids during Kartik in the Holy Dhama. And Mayapur is so merciful, even if you are sleeping the Dhama accepts that as dandavat seva. I am praying this snippet will make its way into the amnesia realm of my brain so I don’t take too much advantage of the Dhama’s mercy when I am there.

My husband is concerned for our sanity but I have given him my word that we will all hold it together, with smiles on our faces, and make the best of a situation which could be worse (think Nityananda Huts).

I am having trouble actually planning, worrying, anticipating our upcoming trip due to my jam obsession, which has completely overpowered my life. Feeling like Nancy Reagan, I just wrote to Dina Sarana Prabhu to see if I should make a move with the jam or am I just a dwarf trying to catch the moon.

On top of my jam OCD, my health and vigor has been present in dimminished amounts and I, along with my bronchitis infected children, just visited the doctor for a check-up. Mother Kaulini was so helpful, coming along with us to the doctor’s office. She just hung out with us like a (grand)mata, picking up the slack trailing from my too tired parenting.

What I appreciated most, aside from her obvious help, was her constant reminder to keep chanting. Even the next day when I emailed her with some positive news, her response was:

hope you and the kiddies are feeling better today. one step at a time…..chanting all the way…

I loved this email. Here is Mother Kaulini in her three-fold form as (grand)mata, guru and Prabhupada-anuga.

She is my lifeline to this project–not just Gita Nagari but the entire project of my spritual life. Three months is a long time to be away and, although I never do anything for her and she is directly under Krishna’s loving thumb, I will worry about her.


The irony of what I wrote just struck me. I am so small and powerless. Mother Kaulini is so dear to the Supreme Lord. And yet I am the one worrying about her. Boy I’m an idiot.



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5 responses to “Going is Coming

  1. Mandakini/Margaret

    Hope you all feel better soon.

    And, You are not an idiot! Just a sweet mother concerned for one of Krishna's dearmost servants.


  2. Devadeva Mirel

    oooh lala mama…new picture…is that from your olympic trials in synchronized swimming…you have your game face on (serious!).

    no, really, you are always there to offer me kind words of support. you are the salve of my false ego…

  3. Mandakini/Margaret

    Girlfriend! That's my Benetton ad picture ;0)

    False ego salve is my specialty…don't be so hard on yourself sweetie, you're a lovely mother/friend/Vaishnavi.

  4. Devadeva Mirel

    whatever happened to benetton?

  5. AR

    All my respectz to Mrs. Deva Deva! It's your lil' sister Alysia here, messier than ever but sure having a good time. You have been blessed with a sharp mind and eloquent words. And your jams are exoticly progressive for the preserve industry. Maybe we can arrange a worktrade. Can I help babysit in Mayapur?
    Check out our sister bustin' the glories of prasadam. I thought you of all people should rightfully see this. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UflBJDjJVpI

    Your servant,

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